Chapter Four

While Cynthia and Jamie were walking and talking, Aaron was running and calling out, " Hey Dr. Esse wait a minute. I have to talk to you." Dr. Esse was just then taking her bicycle out of the bike rack and putting the chain and lock away. When she saw Aaron running, she took off her helmet and waited for him to catch up. "What's that he's carrying?" she wondered. Then she realized it was a skateboard. " Hello, Aaron," she said. "You know I really enjoy you in Conscience Club. I especially liked your conscience drawing."

"Conscience Club's O.K., I guess." Aaron seemed to want to think more about what he wanted to ask. He said," Can I go along with you a ways?"

"Well, I'm on my bicycle this afternoon, but I suppose I could walk it."

"Oh you don't have to walk it. I can keep up with you on my skateboard, unless you go too fast."

So they went along together- Dr. Esse on bicycle and Aaron beside her on his skateboard, talking as they went. Aaron asked, " Do you think everyone has a conscience? What about war criminals? People that kill other people just because they're different? You know, people who commit hate crimes? What about drug pushers and serial killers?"

" So many questions all at once," Dr. Esse laughed. "As it is, I can think of only one thing at a time and right now I'm thinking about the traffic and following traffic safety rules." She didn't add that she also was worried by Aaron darting in and out of the road on his skateboard. Somehow Aaron understood the hint and also began to pay closer attention to the traffic. " Since you don't live far from here, why don't you stop at my house? We can sit on the patio and have some water."

" Sure," Aaron welcomed the chance to ask more questions. It wasn't long before they arrived at Dr. Esse's home. She brought out some ice water and asked,

" Would you like a cookie, Aaron?"

"Yeah, thanks." Then he frowned and said " No thanks, my Mom doesn't want me to eat snacks before supper."

"I could wrap it up and you could take it with you for dessert," Dr.Esse suggested.

"Cool. Mom won't mind that," Aaron promised himself he would remember this solution next time he was offered treats between meals.

" You know I think I know where some of your questions come from. At our last parents meeting, your Stepdad asked if Mr. Moore and I believe everyone has a conscience. He also brought up the Holocaust."

" In my family, every year on Yom HaShoah, we remember all the Jews who were killed in the Holocaust. What about the people who did that or knew about it?" Aaron asked.

"You and your family are not the only ones who have asked this question. You know, the study of moral development was really advanced by a psychologist named Kohlberg. He picked up where Piaget left off. And one of the reasons he had for studying moral development was because of the Holocaust. He wanted to know ' How could people let the Holocaust happen?' I don't know if he ever found an answer that satisfied him, but he did find out an incredible lot about how people grow in moral reasoning through their lives.

" I don't have 'a once and for all' type answer to your question, Aaron. I think that hatred of a people can grow up right alongside conscience, and distort and disfigure it so that a great evil, like killing off a people because they are different, is allowed to happen."

"You mean, a person can listen to his conscience and still be evil?"

" It's a good question for all of us. It's the kind of question that awakens the little moral philosopher inside each of us. So we start thinking about the nature of good and evil in ways that moral philosophers have thought about these things for ages. But it's also a question that can not be answered in the study of moral development alone. So I will tell you how the little moral philosopher inside me tries to answer your question. My moral philosopher tells me that a person who follows the Golden Rule only for some human beings whom she decides deserve it and not for others has a badly shaped conscience. That can lead to allowing evil to happen, sometimes great evil."

"Well, what about serial killers?" Aaron wanted to know.

" Well Aaron how many serial killers have you run into?"

" None yet," Aaron replied.

" Me either, " she said. " Not that I know of, anyway. That means I haven't done any research on those persons."

" So how do you know I won't grow up to be a serial killer or someone like that?"

" Or maybe you mean how do you know you won't? Well, I promise to think about your question before our next club meeting."

" One more thing?"

"One more," Dr. Esse was smiling.

" What should I do about that kid who teases the puppies? It's not right for him to hurt them." Aaron had thought he could get some of the Bridge kids together and kind of wait until the boy showed up at the puppies' home. It could be a regular ambush. Wouldn't that kid be surprised? But then he wondered what Dr. Esse would think of his solution using the Bridge Kids. He decided not to mention them. Out loud he said, " And it's not right for me to hurt him."

" I'd start by asking, 'Who knows the most about preventing cruelty to animals?'"

Aaron left Dr. Esse's home with her last question on his mind. He still had time that afternoon to get some skateboarding in with the Bridge Kids and he hurried off to meet them. Even so he went out of his way to pass by the house where the puppies lived just to make sure they were O.K. They were both outside play fighting and growling at one another. Aaron went into the yard and patted the puppies. He started to leave, then stopped, turned around, kicked his skateboard off the walkway and went up the steps to the front door. After one last moment of hesitation, he rang the doorbell. It seemed like the longest time before someone came to the door and began undoing the dead bolt and latch. Finally, a woman who seemed very old to Aaron opened the door and, through very thick glasses, looked him up and down. What can I do for you young man? If it's another fund drive from school, I'm already up to my ears in wrapping paper. Now, wait a minute. I know you. You're the boy who does the fancy tricks on that -that-board thing. What do you call it?"

" A skateboard, " Aaron answered, smiling. " How did you know that I skateboard?"

" I'm ashamed to admit I enjoy spying on people. I watch you from my window when you come by to see my puppies. You show off for them on -that- that surf board thing, and they love it. I also know you're not always careful about traffic."

" I am too!" Aaron exclaimed. "Some people just think they own the road. Oh. Did you see me on the street or something?"

" Yes I did. I was in a car with my son. He was driving me to the hospital. I had had one of my spells that morning. I just couldn't see for a few minutes and it was over. Not bad spell at all, if you want my opinion. But my son was very worried and insisted he pick me up and take me to the doctor. So I went for the ride. Besides the doctor is kind of cute. You were showing off for someone else besides puppies I think," she said with a smile and a wink. Aaron felt his ears get hot. " I recognized you then as the boy who stops to play with my puppies. But my son passed too close to you as he drove by. I was scared out of my wits that my son had hit you. Were you all right?"

But before Aaron could begin to answer her she went on. " I said "

'Stop this car, a boy's hurt. You've hit him.' He said that no, he hadn't hit anyone at all. He wouldn't stop because he said he was too worried about me. He wouldn't stop but I could tell I was getting to him because he slowed way down and hunched his shoulders. That's how I know I'm making myself understood to my son when he's driving. Anyway, I kept at him until he turned that car right around and went back to help you up at least. I guess you weren't too bad off though 'cause we couldn't find you. Anyhow you didn't answer my question "Were you hurt? Because you know my son is usually a very safe driver and he wouldn't hurt a flea but he was really worried about me-"

Aaron broke in. " I wasn't hurt at all. I didn't even fall down."

By this time of course the puppies were nuzzling and nipping Aaron, then jumping all over him. The woman continued, "You really like animals, I can tell. Not like that other boy that comes by sometimes just to cause trouble."

"That's what I came to tell you," Aaron interrupted. " There's a kid hurting your puppies. He gives them treats to get them to shock themselves on your fence."

" Oh those electronic fences. I don't know why I let my son talk me into one in the first place. They seem really cruel to me. I thought the shocks were inhumane. But the veterinarian said the fences really work to keep pups safe at home. I felt the shock it wasn't too terribly bad."

" Can I feel it?" Aaron wanted to know.

" Well I guess so if you want to." She slipped a collar off one of the puppies and let Aaron hold it. She said, " When you get to within 5 feet of the boundary to my yard it will give you a warning beep beep beep. Then if you cross the boundary it gives you a shock."

Aaron tried it. " Yeah, I guess it's not too bad. How long does it take for them to learn?"

" I was told that after the first shock, they learn pretty fast. But one puppy doesn't seem to catch on as fast as the other. Also it doesn't work if they are confused by mixed signals and inconsistent trainers. Kind of like raising children, if you want my opinion."

"So that kid could be messing up the puppies while they are learning how to stay safe in your yard."

"I know he does. I don't know why he thinks it's fun to do what he's doing. I've caught him at it and gave him a good scolding. My son says that if I see him around my home anymore he'd call the sheriff. But I feel sorry for the boy. You have to be hurting yourself somehow to be so inhumane."

Aaron and the woman chatted a while longer and she asked him his name. Then she asked him if he would be interested in helping her complete the puppies' training by taking them out for walks by the boundaries, then calling them back when the beeping sounds came on, and praising and petting them if they came to him. If they didn't come right away he was to pull sharply on their leashes but not scold them.

" Now that's the humane way to teach them do's and don'ts, if you want my opinion."

Aaron nodded and waved good-bye. Mounting his skateboard again, he suddenly had the answer to Dr. Esse's question. " The Humane Society," Aaron smiled. " I could call them."

Cynthia had begun another babysitting job at the Fairchild's. The Fairchilds were taking part in a progressive dinner party with their friends. That meant they would have appetizers at one friend's home then go to another couple's home for salads then to still another friend's place for the main dish. Finally they would return to their own home with all their friends for desserts. Everyone at the party belonged to a storytelling club. At each stop someone had to tell a story to everyone else. Cynthia was to baby-sit Michael and Cathy until it was the Fairchild's turn to entertain at their home. Then if Michael and Cathy were asleep Cynthia could stay and listen to the last story of the evening.

From the hallway where she was standing, Cynthia could see into two rooms. She could see into the kitchen where Mrs. Fairchild was busy at work and she could also see into the dining room which had been decorated for the dinner party and was full of fine china and wine glasses and plates full of fancy desserts. Cathy was sitting under the dining room table. Michael was quietly looking at a picture book in the corner.

"You' ve come early, Cynthia," Mrs. Fairchild remarked as she was preparing Michael's and Cathy's supper. Cynthia had come early on purpose. She wanted to talk to Mrs. Fairchild about the drawing Michael had made in the bedroom closet. She thought that if she came early Mrs. Fairchild wouldn't be in her usual last minute rush and there would be time to talk. The trouble was Cynthia was having difficulty working up her courage to tell Mrs. Fairchild what had happened. Finally she started.

" Mrs. Fairchild, I need to tell you something."

" Sure, Honey, what do you need to tell me?"

"It's about my last time babysitting, something hap-" Just then there was a crash from the dining room. Cynthia turned to look and saw Cathy dangling from the table, a big chair overturned and just out of the reach of her feet. Cathy was clutching the lace table cloth with one hand and trying very hard with her other hand to put the lid on a jar of sugar cubes that had spilled out all over the table.

"Help!" Cathy cried.

"Oh no!" Cathy's mother cried.

" Oh!" exclaimed Cynthia, " Cathy be careful." Cynthia reached Cathy just before she fell all the way down. Cathy had such a tight grip on the table cloth she had pulled everything to the very edge of the table. There would have been a terrible mess if Cynthia had been even one moment later.

"Cathy, how could you- I told you not to come in here. Now look what you've done. You've been very bad. Very naughty," Mrs. Fairchild scolded. Cathy had ducked under the dining room table. " You come out from under there this instant," Mrs. Fairchild was really mad. Cathy slowly crawled out from under the table on the side farthest away from her mother. Cynthia thought Cathy looked like a puppy dog cowering in shame.

"Cathy, you had better leave this room right now, before you get swatted on your fanny."

Cathy left in a hurry followed by her brother who kept the book in front of his face. Mrs. Fairchild said " Michael, did you have anything to do with this?" Michael shook his head but wouldn't look his mother in the face.

He said, " I didn't do anything."

"Hmm," said his mother as she and Cynthia put things back in order on the table, " I know you like sugar cubes as much as Cathy. I think you put her up to it."

"Uh- uh, I didn't," Michael protested.

"Michael...go on. You don't belong in here either. You and Cathy are just lucky Cynthia was here to save the day. Thanks Cynthia."

Cynthia decided that she would wait awhile longer before telling Mrs. Fairchild about the drawing. She thought to herself. " Maybe I don't need to say anything at all."

Aaron had arrived at their favorite bridge and didn't see the usual kids skateboarding. In fact nobody was skateboarding. There were three older guys hanging out nearby by the comic card shop. They were sharing a cigarette. Aaron recognized one of them as a guy who used to skateboard with the Bridge Kids until he tried to sell them drugs. Aaron and everyone else said "no" and the guy totally lost interest in their group. Aaron was just about to cross back over the canal and head home, when he saw another kid on his bicycle ride up to the older guys and stop. Aaron was really surprised when he recognized Keith from the Conscience Club. Like the woman with the puppies, Aaron enjoyed spying on people. Unlike her, he was completely without shame about spying. There just wasn't anything like "Don't be a snoop" on his list of rules. He almost certainly thought to himself, "I'd better go or I"ll catch it from Mom for being late." He also very possibly thought, " Curiosity killed the cat," but if he did he didn't keep that thought very long. The guys and Keith were leaving and Aaron decided to follow them.

§

"I'm glad Dr. Esse brought her slides back today because I wanted to ask her something," Mr. Moore explained to the class. " Dr. Esse, Could you go back to the slide of Aaron's conscience drawing a year ago?"

" The one of the brain?" Dr. Esse wanted to know.

"Yes, that one," Mr. Moore stopped her as she flicked the slides on the screen in reverse order. " What do we know about what happens in the brain to make conscience work?"

" We certainly don't know as much as we would like. But we may have even better ideas now that we have identified the different domains of conscience," Dr. Esse answered.

Mr. Moore said, " You mean concept of conscience, moral attachment, value making and moral choosing--"

" And don't forget moral emotions. Yes, each of these domains depends on different but connected brain structures. Aaron, since you drew this picture of the brain, may we use your encounter with the little boy who tormented the puppies as an example?"

Aaron didn't look very happy about being used as an example but he said, "O.K. Go ahead." After his visit with Dr. Esse last week he felt she could be trusted.

" The first thing that happened was Aaron used his visual pathways. Before Aaron quite recognized that the puppies were not responding to the little boy playfully at all, he was probably surprised. It's as if something said to Aaron 'Look alert! Pay attention! Hey, wait a minute something's wrong here. ' How did he do that so quickly? Aaron's brain could pick up on emotional cues from the little boy and from the puppies too, probably, I'd say, knowing how much Aaron likes animals. Then other parts of Aaron's brain were activated and allowed him to compare what he was seeing with other experiences that were sort of like it. So first he made sense of what he saw. 'Hey, these puppies are being mistreated.' At the same time Aaron determined how important what he saw was to him. Remember values? If you think about it, deciding that something is important enough to pay attention to is already giving it a kind of value. Aaron was already evaluating the experience he was having. Aaron had a picture of a little boy teasing the puppies and he put it in a frame of some of his values. He had some strong emotions going on while he looked at that picture in that frame. Aaron felt badly for the puppies. Part of Aaron's brain was very active just then. The part that has to do with emotional experiences. It's called the limbic system. And a part of the limbic system is called the amygdala. Some people think the amygdala helps us recognize and appreciate what someone else is experiencing in his emotions. That's called empathy. So Aaron's amygdala was active while he was recognizing and registering the puppies' distress signals. He was also experiencing an emotion in reaction to the puppies distress."

"Yeah I was really mad, " Aaron said.

"And ready to act, too. Another part of Aaron's central nervous system was activated by the stress he was under seeing those puppies being hurt. He had a strong urge to act in some way. When Aaron was suddenly stressed like that, stress hormones were released in his brain and his sympathetic nervous system. He had what's called a fight or flight response. His body prepared either to stay and fight or to runaway- to take flight."

" I was ready to fight that kid."

"But you didn't, Aaron. You didn't want to hurt him," said Jamie. Cynthia nodded.

" Nah, maybe Aaron was afraid he'd get in trouble. Aaron just knew he'd get in trouble if he threw that rock at the kid," said Keith.

"Maybe both things are true," suggested Mr. Moore.

"It's hard to know all the things going on at one time in a person's mind," agreed Dr. Esse." Aaron could have had a sharp rise in his fear of punishment from some grown-up who might find out, or maybe the start of a shame response as he pictured himself throwing a rock at a kid smaller than him, or maybe a twinge of guilt as he pictured the little boy in pain Aaron had caused. By the way, you know guilt is really having empathy for someone you've harmed or wronged. Anyway it's a safe bet that Aaron was having more than one emotion as he pictured himself taking action. He stopped himself and thought. Another part of Aaron's brain called the hippocampus tapped into the long-term memories of what happened when he or someone else threw rocks at people. He made a choice not to throw the rock. Aaron's brain used its special chemicals to send messages between nerves that make up his behavior inhibition system. Inhibition is like forbidding something to go on. The behavioral inhibition system is also called the STOP system. Another part of Aaron's brain just behind his forehead is called the frontal lobe--"

Just then, listening to all this, Jamie became extremely excited. She waved her hand frantically. Mr. Moore asked, " What is it, Jamie?"

Jamie said, " In Santa Fe in New Mexico, I saw a Navajo sandpainting at the museum there. It was a sandpainting of a Navajo hero named Monster Slayer."

Both Keith and Aaron said " Monster Slayer- that's so cool."

Mr. Moore looked puzzled, "Yes, go on-?"

" MonsterSlayer is painted with a white arc like a curved bridge on his forehead, Jamie continued.

" What does the arc symbolize, Jamie?" asked Mr. Moore.

" The guidebook said that it was to show he had a conscience," she said.

Dr. Esse laughed, " So maybe the Navajo sandpainters know about the importance of the frontal lobe in conscience. May be."

"Through its connections with the limbic system, the frontal lobe takes part in the behavioral inhibition system. Our frontal lobes are important to us in making critical judgements and in controlling our urges. Aaron's frontal lobe was active in helping him control his urge to throw the rock at the boy. What do you think happened to the fear of punishment, the shame or the guilt emotions Aaron might have had after his behavioral inhibition system kicked in and forbade him to act on his urge to throw that rock?"

Cynthia answered, " Well he didn't do anything, so he didn't have anything to be afraid of -"

"-or ashamed of or guilty about," Mr. Moore added.

" Right," said Dr. Esse, " and what a relief not to feel fear or shame or guilt. Relief from distressing emotions is a pretty powerful way for conscience to work on preventing bad behavior. In fact Aaron's brain used other special chemicals to send messages between nerve cells that make up his behavioral reward system. It's also called the GO system. His brain rewarded his good judgement not to throw the rock."

" All of that was going on inside my conscience?" Aaron was astonished. "So how come I didn't notice it? Is being good just automatic, liked I'm computer- programmed or something? What if the computer goes haywire?"

" You're not like any computer I know about. Although you do program yourself in some ways when you learn habits of thinking and feeling and doing. Those habits depend a lot on choices you make."

Keith said, " My Dad says everything about us is because of genes. Genes tell the brain how to grow and what kind of persons we will be."

" Genes make an important contribution, it's true. They do tell the brain how to grow. And genes have a lot to do with our personality, especially a part of personality called temperament. Temperament has to do with how we respond to new things, how easily we make changes in our everyday lives, how much we stop and think before we act, how much we are willing to act-- stuff like that. Babies are sometimes called Easy or Difficult or Slow to Warm- Up, according to their temperament. You babysitters probably already know about different temperaments."

"My sister Rachel's a Really Difficult Child!" exclaimed Cynthia.

" My kid brother is too!" said Keith.

Mr. Moore laughed, " I think everyone sees their kid brothers and sisters as Difficult Children, whether they are or not."

" One thing like temperament that might be inherited is how much inner tension or moral emotion a person feels physically when he or she has done something wrong and also how much he or she can make that feeling go away by doing something to make things right, or at least better, again," Dr. Esse said. " Some people have lots of that inner tension or very strong physical experiences of fear or shame or guilt or even pride in doing good things. For one person it might be a gut churning sensation. For another person it might be her heart pounding or her palms sweating. For someone else it might be a terrific tension headache. Other people don't have so much emotion expressed in their bodies or maybe just don't know their own feelings. But I don't want you to think that our consciences are just the result of genes that determine how we might experience certain kinds of emotions in our bodies. No, other experiences we have and learn from include thoughts and values and the important experience of making a choice. Together with emotions they also affect how our brains grow and what kind of persons we become."

Mr. Moore pondered awhile then said, "So, we use values to make judgements and control how other parts of the brain tell us how to act. Really, what we think and feel, the values that become our own, and the choices we make are reshaping our brains all the time-"

"-in ways we can't easily detect. I think so, yes." Dr. Esse added.

"O.K. Dr. Esse, our brains are really essential for our consciences to work. I buy that. Now back to Aaron's question--what if something in our brains necessary for conscience to work isn't there or goes haywire?"

" In my practice as a child and adolescent psychiatrist, I have worked with children and adolescents who violate the rights of other people or really important rules for their age."

" You mean juvenile delinquents?" again Aaron wondered what Dr. Esse would think of the Bridge Kids.

"Well in my profession we talk about kids who have a conduct disorder. 'Juvenile Delinquent' is a legal term. Anyway, what I 've found are that all the kids we've interviewed - whether they had conduct disorder or other conditions or were more like the kids in the Conscience Club - had something I would call conscience. But some kids have genuine weaknesses in some or possibly all of the different domains of conscience. Some researchers agree with Keith's Dad that a person can inherit genes that give him or her a tendency to act in ways that violate the rights of others or really important rules for their age. They may be kind of thrill seekers who aren't affected when doing 'what they want when they want' causes harm to others. Maybe what they inherit is an imbalance in their behavioral inhibition and reward systems."

"It's also possible that those same systems are affected by the stresses that children go through if they are being abused or neglected. One thing researchers are studying now is how abuse and neglect affects a child's conscience. Remember the questions you were asked in the interview:

Do you feel like a good person most of the time?

Some of the abused and neglected kids I see in my practice often don't feel like they are good even if they are behaving themselves. They may not think anyone really cares about their goodness or badness. They may not have the kinds of do's and don'ts inside that other kids have that help them respect the rights of others."

" What about Oliver?" Jamie asked abruptly.

" Oliver?" Dr. Esse was puzzled.

" Oliver. Oliver Twist in Dickens' book," Jamie said.

"What-?" Dr. Esse was still puzzled.

Mr. Moore explained, " The kids are reading Oliver Twist right now and learning what it was like for children in Dickens' time."

Jamie said, " There are lots of people who are cruel to Oliver. First off, he's an orphan. Then he's in an awful place where he's made to work and isn't even fed enough. He gets abused so much he runs away. Then he meets up with the Artful Dodger and gets in a gang. But he's really a good boy after all, not like that bad Bill Sikes who kills Nancy in the book."

" So Jamie, let's see, Oliver, the Artful Dodger and Bill Sikes all probably had some bad times growing up, maybe they all had been abused. They all broke the rules and the law but they were each different. Oliver was trying to escape abuse and then just trying to survive. The Dodger, I remember, was a thrill seeker and kind of fun to be around even if he broke the law by picking pockets. He didn't enjoy hurting people. Bill Sikes was a hardened criminal who certainly didn't mind hurting someone else who got between him and whatever he wanted, maybe he enjoyed hurting others too."

" I see Jamie's point," Mr. Moore concluded, " When children are maltreated, how can anyone know which one will turn out the way Oliver did and which one will turn out the way Bill Sikes did?"

" Well, I definitely think Jamie thinks deeply about what she reads. Huckleberry Finn, by Mark Twain is another example. Huck Finn hated rules - didn't want to become civilized, he kept telling himself. He'd lost his mother and been badly treated by his Pap who beat Huck during his drunks. Pap later kidnapped Huck and tried to take his money. He told Huck whatever a boy had belonged to his father because the boy belonged to his father. Then he tried to kill Huck but Huck escaped down the Mississippi River. He was joined by Jim, a runaway slave, who wanted to be free once and for all. Huck liked Jim but he also grew up in a time and place where it was against the law to help runaway slaves. In fact, lots of white people thought it was wrong not to return slaves to their lawful masters. He and Jim took this raft trip down the river. Jim wanted to get to Cairo where he could buy passage on a riverboat to the free states, find work and earn the money to free his family. But Huck wasn't sure what to do--- should he help Jim or not. Jim trusted Huck and Huck began to understand that Jim was as important a human being as anyone else. But what about that law? The raft ride down the Mississippi was a moral dilemma for Huck. When it came down to it, when Jim was caught, Huck was determined to help him get free. So, where did Huck find the caring and the courage to help another person when he had known nothing but abuse from his own father? Especially when so many folks Huck lived with and who seemed to be expert on right and wrong believed it was O.K. for some people to make slaves out of other people. Why was moral sense stronger in someone who had himself been treated so badly? It's an important question for people who try to understand the effects of abuse and neglect on a child's conscience but nobody has a complete answer yet. Anyway, enough questions without answers. Right now, I think I' m ready for an answer to the question Aaron asked me after our last club meeting. Do you remember the question, Aaron?"

"Huh?" Aaron had to think a few seconds. " Oh yeah, how do you know I won't grow up to be a serial killer?"

Most of the other kids laughed- it seemed ridiculous to imagine Aaron could be a serial killer, but maybe some were a little nervous about Aaron's question. They had all seen stuff on TV about serial killers. It was scary stuff they sometimes talked about on the playground and at slumber parties.

" I let Aaron know that I really don't think I've met any serial killers. Do you remember how I changed your question?" Dr. Esse continued.

"Yeah, you said I was really asking myself how I know I won't be a serial killer."

"Right. So now after all this discussion, Aaron, how do you think you can answer your own question?"

"Well, I guess I sort of wondered because my parents sometimes say I don't act guilty when I've done something wrong. Like I'm not sorry enough or something. But listening to you talk, I think I must have a conscience after all--even if it's not a ... a..."

Dr. Esse helped out, " --even if it's not an especially emotional one?"

" Yeah, that's what I mean. I still know it's not right to hurt people. So I guess I wouldn't make a very good serial killer."

" Well good. I'm glad that's settled," Mr. Moore laughed. So did everyone else.

" O.K., O.K. so I'm not going to be a serial killer. I'm still mad at that jerky kid who hurt the puppies," Aaron declared.

Mr. Moore said, "That reminds me that we were going to talk about different ways to make bad feelings like guilt go away. I suppose in Aaron's case it's not guilt so much-- more like moral outrage."

"Hey that's right. Aaron, what did you decide to do about that mean little boy and the puppies?" Jamie wanted to know.

"He hasn't come back when I've been around, anyway. But I got to thinking. There's lots of cruelty to animals when people who care about animals aren't around. So I called the Humane Society to find out what people can do about it. The woman there was Mrs. Katie Carrothers. She said people at the shelter nicknamed her Kitty Carrothers because she has a special place in her heart for homeless cats. She said that sometimes cruelty to animals is because of ignorance and insensitivity. She said sometimes education helps. So they have some programs to teach people how animals like to be treated. She said maybe I could be a volunteer in one of the elementary school programs where I can help take animals in to show the little kids. Also Mrs. Carrothers said to be sure to mention that they need help taking care of the animals at the shelter after school and on weekends. If you are interested in volunteering I can give you her number." Aaron finished.

"That's really neat, Aaron," Jamie said. Jamie was quiet a moment. " It's sorta like what I want to do. I would like to do some volunteer work too."

" I bet at the State Park," Mr. Moore said.

"No, well maybe sometime. I do like nature. But right now I'd like to help out in the children's hospital. You know be a child life helper or something. And Cynthia said she'd like to do that with me."

Cynthia nodded.

"Cynthia," Dr. Esse was reminded that Cynthia was also working on a moral dilemma. " Have you decided what you want to do about the Fairchild's?"

" In my church we have the Sacrament of Reconciliation. My Mom and Dad still call it Confession. First you think about the Ten Commandments and how you might not have kept them. Then you tell the priest how you've sinned and he gives you ideas on how to find forgiveness or make things better and what prayers will help. After I went to confession, I decided to tell Mrs. Fairchild what happened. But I didn't have the chance while I was babysitting last weekend. Well I sorta had a chance but I didn't take it. I think confession outside of church is harder than inside church."

Aaron said, "I know what you mean, Cynthi. At temple, we have a special day set aside called Yom Kippur. It's The Day of Atonement that comes after our Jewish New Year. On that day, we ask God for forgiveness. I think it's easier to admit to God I've done something wrong than to tell my parents."

" Dr. Esse, are there some other ways that people deal with moral emotions outside of religious rituals?" Mr. Moore asked. " After all, not all families are religious."

Dr. Esse answered, " Yes, I agree. Not just religious people find they have to deal with their moral emotions. The preteen kids in our study also told us that they tried to talk the matter over with somebody besides the person who had been hurt or offended. Some said they sought advice from respected adults. Kids also find healing in solitude, listening to music, reading, talking to friends about non-moral issues or being more friendly to the person who's been hurt."

"I'm amazed at all the different ways everyone has thought of to repair and heal themselves," said Mr. Moore. " I suppose kids have different ways of rewarding and punishing themselves too?"

"And they also tell us that some rewards and punishments from grown -ups work better than others. It depends on the person," Dr. Esse added.

" You know I think everyone is already sneaking into the next domain of conscience with this talk about The Ten Commandments and religious rules. Isn't that part of value making and keeping, Dr. Esse?" asked Mr. Moore.

Dr. Esse nodded and said, " Maybe we can talk about that next time. Let's see. I'll write the question set for that domain on the board."

Now, I want you to make a list of the main principles

(Rules ) (do's and don'ts ) in your conscience. Beside the rule write the name of the person(s) who have helped the most in putting that rule in your conscience.

for following them, and also your best reasons for not following them.